The List
by know-it-all-bookworm
Summary: H - Due to the betrayal of Wormtail. G - And because we're friends forever. H - We have created 'The List'. H&G - May we rot in hell before disobeying 'The List'. signed - Hermione Jane Granger & Ginevra Molly Weasley


**The List**

By** Hermione Jane Granger **and **_Ginevra Molly Weasley_**

We will never wear pink. **_Cause only girly girls where that..._And we're not them!**

We will never send a boy a singing Valentine. **_It was a dare, PEOPLE...Fred and George ring any bells..._You're never gonna live that one down Ginny..._Damn._**

We will never get a crush on a teacher. **Harry found out about the list and made us put this one down. Honestly, who does he'll think I'll get a crush on now...Snape?..._I dunno, if his hair were clean he wouldn't be bad looking...not that I'm interested...I think Sinistra is though._**

We will always do our homework ahead of time. **It's necessary so you won't feel rushed..._That...and it leaves more time for snogging guys..._I hate you sometimes..._It's a part of having siblings...get used to it._**

We will never obsess over our looks. **Why obsess?..._Yeah, we already know we're fabulous..._You are...I have this bushy hair thing going on..._DON'T OBSESS!_**

We will never steal another girl's guy. **That's just wrong!..._Really, really wrong!_**

We will never eat tapioca pudding. **_It's lumpy..._Bleagh!**

We will never eat anything given to us by Fred or George. **If we did, we'd be stupid..._With a capital 'S'!_**

When in doubt we will consult the Library. **It helped with the Tri-Wizard Tournament..._It could save your life!_**

We will never betray a friend's trust. **That's just WRONG!..._cough,Pettigrew,cough._**

We will never do anything to hurt Hagrid's feelings. **He's just so sweet..._In an adorable puppy kind of way._**

We will not have sex before marriage. **I want to be with THE ONE and only THE ONE!..._We don't have to do it to keep a guy interested...If he doesn't want to be with us for who we are..._Then we don't want him!**

We will never cheat on a boyfriend, fiancée, or husband. **Once again...COMPLETELY WRONG..._Yeah, besides...why would any girl cheat on Harry!..._When did you guys start dating?..._Erm...Truth or Dare...the...uh...closet snog...yeah...um...DON'T TELL RON!..._Why?..._He'd murder Harry, so we told him that I'm dating Dean Thomas..._Ooookaaay?**

We will never doubt Harry. **Hello...this is Harry we're talking about..._You learned from the whole TWT didn't you?..._Well, Ron was being stupid.**

We will always be friends. **This one speaks for itself..._Damn Straight..._Harry rented a John Wayne movie for your last date, didn't he?..._Maybe...Why?..._sigh...No reason.**

We will always present a united front. **United we stand..._Divided we fall...Where did we get that from anyway?..._Not sure...Hmm.**

We will never obsess over school rules. **I was really a pain in the...erm...rear end during my first year..._Besides, F & G never obsessed and look at them now..._They own a joke shop..._SO...Let's partner with them...Your brains...my evil genius...their gold..._You have a point..._I always do._**

We will never tell a friend's secret. **Again, this is IMPORTANT..._Hah..._What..._You can't tell Ron..._about you and Harry?..._Uhuh...It's a secret..._I wasn't going to anyway...he's mad at me right now..._Why..._He was looking for a quill in my schoolbag and he found the letter from Viktor asking me to spend Christmas with him...it implied that he was going to propose..._HE WAS WHAT..._I told him he was just a friend! I can't help what he wrote..._YOU COULD BE RICH..._So...I don't want to be one of those shallow people who marry for money...That's a Parkinson thing..._Good point...Besides, we have F & G to borrow money from..._Exactly, and I don't have to marry them to get any...they owe me..._Do tell...What for..._erm...**silence**..._Hermione?..._I gave them a potion recipe to create their Pox Pills..._What..._For the skiving snackboxes..._Can I cash in on your invention?..._Duh...yes..._You're the bestest friend ever..._That's why you love me...and Harry and Ron tolerate me.**

We will never forget to write. **'Cause the boys are terrible at it..._And we'd be bored stiff without SOME intelligent conversation..._Too right.**

We will never try to make someone jealous. **Who needs to?..._Yeah...Guys want us without us even trying..._You anyway..._One word...Krum..._Oh!**

We will always try to help our friends. **Obviously...can we say Norbert..._Norbert..._You are a strange person..._Yes, but who is stranger...the strange person...or the one who hangs out with the strange person..._Why are we in Gryffindor..._I don't know...Sometimes I scare myself with how brilliant I am..._Me too.**

We will get revenge on anyone who messes with us. **Duh..._Parkinson..._Chang, and her attitude towards you when Harry asked her out..._So that's why you planned the Rita Skeeter interbiew for that day..._Duh...Harry needed to look at her with the blinders off..._THANK YOU!_**

We will never use a love potion. **Bulstrode is the only one who needs to use one..._And Romilda Vane...female dog..._Ginny...you didn't cuss...I'm so proud of you!**

We will face our fears. **_Boggart of McGonagall..._I made her tell me that I failed so I could get over my fear of it..._I faced my fear..._What?..._I kissed Harry first._**

We will never take a drink of butterbeer when F or G is about to tell a joke (it hurts when you laugh so hard that it comes out your nose). **_Again...this speaks for itself..._It hurt BAD!...Did you know that Madam Pomfrey has no spells or potions that can ease the burn..._No...I'll remember that though._**

We will never drink firewhiskey just to 'fit in'. **Again..._Who needs to..._I'd like to keep my senses as they are, thank you very much..._Yep._**

We will never give in to Umbridge (that hag). **Shudders violently..._Bitch..._Damn you cussed..._So did you..._Damn!**

We will get rights for house elves. **They don't deserve to be slaves..._I know Hermione...I know._**

We will get rights for werewolves. **Moony..._It's just not fair..._No, its not.**

We will be godmothers for each others children. **Obviously..._Yeah...I have plans to corrupt your children...I shall turn them into little Slytherins, Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, and I'll leave one alone to be a Gryffindor...and together...we shall take over the SCHOOL!...insert evil laugh here..._Sometimes I think you need to join Lockhart..._I know._**

We will become animagi. **MARAUDERS!..._BUT THE GIRL VERSION...Did you brew the potion..._We'll take it on Monday..._Awesome._**

We will get tattoos on our seventeenth birthdays. **Dragon..._Harry..._Huh..._I'm getting his name on ..._I have no words.**

We will cry during sad movies. **It's not like we have eyeliner that'll run..._Yeah...I have the right to be a complete sap during sad/romantic movies._**

We will never obsess over our weight. **What's the point..._Yeah...besides, Harry and I are going to have a houseful of kids someday...have you SEEN my mother after seven kids..._Yeah...not bad..._Not bad at all...Thanks Mum!_**

We will always remember the other person's birthday. **DUH!**

When we turn eighteen we will go to a Muggle club. **_PARTAY!!..._Dancing..._hot guys..._Lee Jordan is the DJ at 'The Star'..._Really?..._Yep..._We're there!_**

We will always be sisters. **_DUH!_**

We will never get a crush on Draco Malfoy. **Yuck!..._The bouncing white ferret...NO WAY!_**

When we fall in love we will tell the guy regardless of circumstances (barring him already having a girlfriend, fiancée, or wife). **_HARRY!..._!..._REALLY?..._Yep!..._No Way!_**

We will not lie to each other. **DUH!..._Ah yes...the classic..._Do these jeans make my butt look big..._Yes..._Okay...I'll go with the skirt then..._See how well it works?_**

We will not fear death. **The Deathly Hallows ring a bell..._I would rather die than pull a Voldemort..._I agree.**

We will not trust the _Daily Prophet_. **Rita Skeeter..._Nuff said._**

We will never treat Harry like the boy-who-lived, but like HARRY. **_MINE!..._Hers!**

We will never let a guy abuse us. **Obviously...because whoever tried to..._would become a eunuch..._No...Umbridge's sex slave...Can we say Imperius..._You're evil..._It's all in a days work.**

We will never let a guy treat us like garbage. **See above..._Only rather than Umbridge..._Aunt Marge...evil grin.**

We will get back at Pansy Parkinson. **&(&(!!..._She really & didn't she..._She makes Umbridge look like a fluffy little kitten..._shudders violently._**

We will not trust Lavender Brown with any information. **Can we say Rita Skeeter..._She is her godmother..._NO WAY!..._yep...got it straight from Mr. Brown when he went into WWW to buy a love potion antidote..._I have raised an eyebrow in curiosity about his purchase..._You and me both._**

We will never eat vegemite. **I threw up!..._It scares me!_**

We will celebrate the fall of Voldemort by dancing on his grave (or wherever he died). **PARTAY!..._I plan on marrying Harry on top of his grave..._Ooh!...when and I get married...I'm spending the wedding night there..._Evil...Making little half-blood babies..._blushing.**

We will trust each other no matter what. **DUH!..._What she said!_**

**_This was inspired by Rita Skeeter, _Peter Pettigrew, _Barty Crouch Jr.,_ Lavendar Brown, _the Patil twins, _Millicent Bulstrode, _F & G (butterbeer), _Umbitch (cough), _Aunt Marge, _Aunt Petunia, _Uncle Vernon, _Dinky Duddydums, _AND...MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL!..._HUH..._Oops...I meant hot guys..._Oliver Wood...Yum..._Aren't you in love with ..._Clears throat noisily...EYE CANDY!..._YUM INDEED..._Harry just walked past didn't he..._Maybe..._I give up..._Hey, there's Poofy..._Where?..._over there..._I missed him while he was gone..._He's her pet mongoose..._GRINS!...OH NAGINI!..._laughs hysterically..._Has to give CPR to Ginny..._Thanks Hermione..._What are friends for?**


End file.
